Essen!

You know how everyone goes on and on about French and Italian food? You know how German cheeses, sausages, and Bretzeln are famous all over the world? You know how Austrian cakes and coffees are the stuff of legend? 

Yeah, well Switzerland shares borders with France, Italy, Germany, and Austria. And Swiss food--well, Swiss food is out of this world.

Why is Swiss food so amazing?

My main theory is better ingredients. Which comes from a theory of a better environment. Switzerland, like all the stereotypes say, is clean. Like, ridiculously clean. The air is cleaner here--you walk outside, and you can just smell it. Feel it.The Swiss don't pollute in the way that some people (cough, American coal-rollers) do.

A LOT of the water comes from fresh running rivers and snow melt. The combination of clean air, a (relatively) mild climate, and clean water leads to the grass LITERALLY being greener (seriously. In the patches where the snow melts, the grass seems to glow. This is a stark contrast to Missouri, which has brown, yellow, and grey grass pretty much until April). Cows eat the clean, green grass, and they  make clean milk.

Europe is food-concious in a way that America just isn't. Switzerland, especially, has high standards. A lot of the food is organic. A lot of the fruits and vegetables are much less genetically modified than they are in the States (see example: here in Switzerland I have yet to buy apples that are bigger than my face. This is not the case in the US).  Processed foods aren't packed with five million chemical preservatives which the common man can't pronounce. Candies and chocolates have real sugar, instead of high-fructose corn syrup. Wine isn't sulfite-soup. It's really a difference you can taste.

Swiss food is rich, creamy, and mild. You won't really find spice here, or an overly-large amount of salt. Most local dishes are based around potatoes or bread and cheese (OMG the cheese!!!!!! Gruyere might as well be my new god. It's sharp and pungent and OH so good!). Many dishes are also kind of meat-heavy: however, curry is also a local favorite and usually a vegetarian-safe option. Swiss curry isn't like Indian curry. It's a dense, sweet yellow concoction a little like mustard (think mayonnaise with Tumeric). It's also pretty good on french fries.

Here are some local things (mostly pastries) that I've tried:

Fondue:

Here's Gary the Snail enjoying a nice fondue with me. Fondue is served in a pot over a small heater which you can adjust at will. The most common fondue is Moitie Moitie, which is a combination of Gruyere, Vacherin Fribourgeois, white wine, and spices (I mention this for the Gruyere and the wine, of course). Fondue is served with little pieces of bread or potato and should be consumed with more white wine or kirsch liqueur.

Kirsch is a cherry liqueur that's very popular in Switzerland. I haven't been crazy enough to try it yet. I did find a bottle in my lodging house's kitchen, but one whiff told me it really wasn't something I should touch without a hazmat suit.

Vermicelli:

Most people think of vermicelli as a pasta. In Switzerland it's actually a fairly popular dessert. The "noodles" are shaped from a thick paste of chestnuts and kirsch. It's served with dense whipped cream and a cherry on top.

I wasn't really sure how to feel about vermicelli. It was sweet and soft like cookie dough, but grainy and a little dry. The flavor was completely unlike anything I'd ever tasted before. It was good...I think...

Icecream:

No picture of this one, but the ice cream here is phenominal. It's a little less sweet, but creamier and richer, and the flavors are a lot more concentrated. Chocolate ice cream tastes like dark chocolate, not like "sugary-thing-we-waved-a-Hersey's-bar-over".

Crepes:

No pic of this either, but on one of my first nights I went to a little creperie and ordered a curry, guacamole, and tomato crepe. The result was huge (we're talking American serving size) and fluffy and savory. I like crepes :)

Croissants:

Everyplace serves croissants here. I'm serious. Everyplace.
They're pretty good though.  

STREET WAFFLES:

OMG THE STREET WAFFLE MAN!!!
Ok, so I've been living here for about two weeks now, and a lot of my time I've spent out and about in the old town. Pretty much every day, I've walked past this man who sells waffles from a cart. Pretty much every time, they've smelled godly. Pretty much every time I've promised myself: OK, next time, I'll get one.

Well, one COLD Saturday (maybe 20 degrees F) I went out to the farmer's market with one of my American friends. As I hadn't had any breakfast, I decided that I would get a street waffle. After all, the waffle cart was in the same general area as the market. I'd walked past the cart a million times. It couldn't be too hard to find, right?

Well, long story short, my friend and I wound up walking around in the cold for about an hour. We lost circulation to our fingers, thanks to heavy shopping bags. We lost feeling in our lips and toes from the cold. We had nearly lost hope and were about to go home, spirits laden with unsatisfied hunger and broken dreams. Suddenly, we turned the corner and
                                                                                                       there
                                                                                                                 it
                                                                                                                       stood.
The waffle cart. The Holy Grail of international waffle-seekers everywhere.

I rushed to the cart, troubles forgotten. I ordered my waffle. I muddled through the Waffle Man's German. I watched as he skewered my precious waffle, warmed it over a small grill, and glazed it with something that might have been honey. I accepted my waffle, heart athunder.

And then. I took.

A.

Bite. 

And it was filled with chocolate.

Gaze upon this picture. To you, this photograph is a mere waffle. To me, this photograph is a symbol. A symbol of hope. A symbol of joy.  A symbol of the fulfillment of an American's dream.

Anyway--

Mandelbretzel:

After the Holy Waffle, this is one of my favorite things that I've eaten so far. It's a soft, flaky pretzel baked in honey and garnished with little pieces of nut. Mine was served warm and the inside was still gooey.

This pretzel was a symbol of victory. Mainly, my victory over the Swiss immigration police on the day I got my green card (Fun Fact: in this country green cards are blue and pink).

Needless to say, victory was delicious :)

Bread:

Not exciting to mention, but I love the local breads. There's a Konditorei about two blocks away from my building where I can get fresh, soft, yummy bread for 2-3 francs. It's delightful.

Chocolate muffins:

Chocolate muffin. Not exciting. Until you realize--IT'S ALSO FULL OF MELTED CHOCOLATE.

Chocolate:

It's Switzerland. Duh.

 The bar with the bear on it is milk chocolate--it and the Torino bar were both given to me by the Uni (don't you love it when college gives you chocolate?). The bear one has been amazingly good--I'm saving the other for when I finish the first. The bottom chocolate bar I got on my tour of the Louis Cailler chocolate factory. I might save it until I go back to the States (maybe).

The Caotina is a dark chocolate beverage mix which you can use to make hot or cold chocolate. It's main ingredient is, get this, cocoa powder (not high fructose corn syrup). It's not nearly as sweet as what I'm use to, but I guess it's pretty good.

Schwedentorte:

These are pretty popular in konditoreis, too. It's ridiculously fluffy sponge cake layered with jam, custard, and pastry cream. That stuff on the top is marzipan.

Aww yeah...